The Gruesome Truth About Parasites [Full Episode]

– [Narrator] Hey, kids. Remember, everything you’re about to learn is real. ♪ Look at all the wonders ♪ ♪ That a single class can find ♪ ♪ If they decide to shut their mouth ♪ ♪ And open up their eyes ♪ ♪ Sex and shit and crime and pain ♪ ♪ All this crap will be explained ♪ ♪ While we’re at it ♪ ♪ Let’s try to have some fun ♪ ♪ Talking’ ’bout ♪ ♪ What The Fuck 101 ♪ ♪ Come and see the worst of history ♪ ♪ What The Fuck 101 ♪ ♪ Come and see that life and victory ♪ ♪ So if you think learning sucks ♪ ♪ Well, let me show you ♪ (screams) – Come on, no, no, no,
no, no no, no, no, no, no. ♪ It’s What The Fuck 101 ♪ – With me, Professor Foxtrot. (upbeat music) Who’s ready for another exciting session of detention? – Who’s this fucking bitch? – Don’t call her a bitch, asshole. – Fight! (aggressive music) – God. – The fuck? – I am Professor Foxtrot, and I’ve been charged with taking over detention to make sure you all learn your lessons. – Detention isn’t for learning. We’re just supposed to sit here and quietly destroy school property. – Hot. – And why are you here this week? – He copied off me. I spent hours studying for the exam, and Jason cheated. – I see. Good strategizing, Jason. – What? – I got the idea when I saw how hard the questions were. – You shouldn’t praise him. He’s a, he’s a parasite. – Am not. – Of course you are, but you should be proud. Parasites are some of the most successful, powerful
creatures on this planet. – I don’t care. – Don’t believe me? – No, I just don’t care. (animal sounds) – Stop with the screaming. Oh, for heaven’s sakes. I’ve only shrunk you down and transported you
halfway around the world to learn about the most vicious parasites on Earth. (ominous music) – Hello there, students. – Wait a sec. This little wuss is a vicious parasite? – My name is Kevin, and I’m. (screams) – What the hell was that? – Copidosoma floridanum,
a parasitoidal wasp, a creature so terrible, it made Charles Darwin doubt the existence of a
living, omnipotent God. – Hey, are you okay? – Yeah. I think I’m all right. It takes more than one sting to being down Kevin J. Caterpillar. – Don’t be fooled. Kevin J. Caterpillar may feel fine, but that stinger was
actually an ovipositor, which means his insides are
brimming with wasp eggs. – What? Those larva will eat
him from the inside out, saving his vital organs for last to keep him alive as long as possible. – Oh, dear. Well, at least things can’t get any worse. Yeah, it’s only up, up, up for old Kevin J.– – Also, you have AIDS. – What? – Bummer. – That is not funny. AIDS is a serious epidemic. – It’s not a joke. Those wasps naturally carry viruses that suppress the immune system, the same way HIV does. – What, why? – So his body can’t fight off the larva. In time, they’ll burrow out of his skin, and spin cocoons on his still-living body. – Oh, dear. Well, maybe my story will inspire
and Oscar-nominated movie, like Philadelphia. – Dude, you’re no Tom Hanks. – Oh, things aren’t looking good for old Kevin J. Caterpillar. – Do something. We can’t just leave him like this. – You’re right. Or can we? – Guys? Hey, guys. Guys? Oh, okay. Well, Kevin J. Caterpillar is just gonna jig, jig, jig. – It looks like we can
just leave him like that. Amazing. – Bummer. – Jason? Jason? Jason? Did you see how parasites like you flourish unchecked while others suffer? – Oh, come on, I didn’t Mindy. We were more like a team. – Ooh, then I think you’ll like learning about our next parasite. – Hello, students. – Ah, dude. – Are you here to learn
about oceanic ecosystems? Let me help. – Cool. ♪ In the ocean, there’s ♪ (screams) – (in a muffled voice) It’s in my mouth! It’s in my mouth! – This is the tongue-eating
louse, Cymothoa exigua. This little guy attaches
to the tongues of fish and sucks their blood. Over time, the tongue
atrophies from blood loss and falls off. – (in a muffled voice) What? But I need my tongue. – Yeah, he needs his tongue. (screams) – Oh, don’t worry. He’ll get a new one. – How? – The louse itself. It will grip the severed stump and become his new tongue. – Oh, hello, students. ♪ When it comes to tongues ♪ ♪ I’m just as good ♪ ♪ I can help you sing ♪ ♪ Or swallow your food ♪ – See, Jason? Just like you and Mindy, a perfect team. – Oh, my God. – If that fish wants a tongue, he’ll have to have a
cockroach living in his mouth for the rest of his life. – (in a muffled voice) Help me, please. This is a nightmare. – Okay, I get it. Parasites are gross,
and I should work hard instead of leeching off of others. Can we please go home? All this shit is freaking me out. – No. That’s the lesson at all. – What? – Look at this frog. – Kill me. – Oh, what the fuck? – Look at how tremendously fucked this frog is. It’s incredible, and it’s
all thanks to the aptly-named frog-mutating flatworm. – Kill me. – These mutated frogs are slower due to their extra limbs, and therefore, are more likely
to be eaten by predators, so the flatworm can continue its lifecycle in a second host. The parasite system works. Should we denounce it just because it causes others pain and looks stupid? – Yeah, duh. – Well, let me tell you about someone else who caused pain and looked stupid. – Do not say. – Jason.
– Jason. – Oh, come on. – But he’s still here, thriving, surviving. He’s gonna keep living, keep getting by, making dozens, no, hundreds of people miserable, but that’s never gonna slow him down. Okay, let’s go home. (fish screams) See how wildly inventive successful parasites are? And we didn’t even talk about the thousands that infect humans, the ones that make you so itchy you scratch yourselves to death, the ones that make your scrotum swell to the size of duffle bags, the fish that lodge themselves in your urethra. – Please, stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop. – If you wanted to convince
us that parasites are good, you didn’t. These are monsters, taking advantage of us. – It’s not about good and bad. It’s about successful. Some people estimate that the number of parasitic species outnumber free-living species four to one. This is their world, a world ruled by Jasons. – Bummer. – And that’s not all, pretty much every miserable
thing in the shitty, fucking universe is fucked, and has been fucked since time began. We experience mere islands of decency in a great sea of what the fuckery, and now, you get to spend
every detention learning what the fuck all this is. – She’s crazy. – Ah fuck, it sucks. – Free tapeworms for everyone. (screams) (upbeat music)