# Mathematics and sex | Clio Cresswell | TEDxSydney

Translator: Bob Prottas

Reviewer: Ariana Bleau Lugo Yes, I am the mathematician

who’s going to get you so laid. (Laughter) And to begin I need you

to stare at this equation. I mean, there’s your first orgasm

right there, I know it. But these are very sophisticated equations that model a successful marriage. And they’re ground breaking equations because it was the first time

that truly sophisticated mathematics was used in the field of romance. And they predict with 95% accuracy rate whether newlyweds will be together

in six years time. And you can see there’s the “W” for wife and the “H” for husband. So, they modeled newlyweds

talking about areas of contention like the in-laws or money. And then they modeled the responses according to how each partner

was responding to the other. Body language as well. And what came out

was this interesting influence factor at the end there, which actually revealed that couples that responded the least to each other had a better chance

of a successful marriage. So that means —

(Laughter) I see some people are like,

“We knew that.” So, couples that compromised the least ended up being together the most. This was very interesting because a lot of therapy

has been based on empathy. And you laughed before, so maybe you don’t say

when you partner comes home, “Yes darling, I know. Let me rub your feet

and fix you a martini.” Because what they’ve actually found

is that might not be the best way forward. Maybe the best way,

or the mathematics revealed, that having high standards

and finding ways to reach for those standards

is in fact the way to go. So mathematics is the study of patterns. All the symbols that you see

are in fact patterns. You know, encapsulating patterns. And we’re very used to seeing mathematics being used

in physics and engineering. That’s just because

it’s been there the most. You know, E equals mc squared.

That’s so early 1900’s. There’s actually been an evolution. Since the 80’s

we’ve seen mathematics venture into stock market analysis,

risk analysis that was new. And then since the 1990’s or 2000’s even we’re seeing mathematics enter

into the sometimes called Softer Sciences like psychology, sociology,

anthropology, biology. New mathematics appears every day. I brought in a few

just to remind you of how that works. Here’s some latest research. This is looking at antibiotic use and how to implement antibiotics

for tuberculosis while getting the patient healthy, but making sure

that we avoid antibiotic resistance. That came out a couple of weeks ago. And this is looking at how an opinion

spreads through a population. And when will you have the coexistence

of several opinions, or one big consensus. One of my favorites,

it’s older but I couldn’t resist. This one’s from 2009 and this is

how to create the perfect chocolate. One that melts in your mouth

but not in your hand. And yes, these are very sexy equations,

I’m sure you’ll agree. Mathematics is absolutely everywhere

these days; it’s being used everywhere. It really is no surprise that now we’re seeing

the equations for love. Now, love sucks.

I know you all know that. Because, yes, you’re excited at first. But then you’re scared.

Oh, my god. I haven’t eaten. You’re sitting looking at your phone,

“Please ring!” Then they send you a two-word text. And you’re like, “Whoo-hoo!

It’s on like Donkey Kong.” (Laughter) And so these equations

look at which personality traits are more likely to come together to have a more stable

companionship type love because some people they just end up being

up and down continuously. Imagine being in a relationship

with Charlie Sheen. That would be like

well, unlike Donkey Kong and also like this.

(Laughter) It gets a bit out of control —

mathematically quite fast. So just to tell you, it’s about one thing to look out for

is if your partner — if you overestimate

your partner’s qualities. So with partners we can behave

a bit like proud parents. “He’s so smart. He’s so sexy.”

Everyone’s just staring at this guy like (mumbling) Anyway, (Laughter) here’s some more mathematics. Now, men report, on average,

having had sex with two to four times as many women than women do men. And this does not make sense. (Laughter) It doesn’t. (Laughter) I know you’re all thinking,

“But what about prostitutes?” “But what about my ex?

He’s slept with everybody.” No, every time a man

has sex with a woman — there are averages for other things — But in a large enough sample space it’s going to be about the same,

not off like this. So here’s an example. Here’s Charlie Sheen.

He’s had sex with everyone. (Laughter) Then the next guy, only one.

One, one, one. And that forces, you see,

the outcome for the women. The first one’s had one.

The others have had 2 partners each. And 2, 4, 6, 8, 9.

9 divided by 5 and on the right 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.

9 divided by 5. Every time a man has sex with a woman it’s adding to the general tally

of both sides. Now, why is this discrepancy? Because the surveys

are confidential and non-identifying, it turns out, if you ask about kinky things,

people are very honest. (Laughter) What we’ve turned to

is we think it’s counting strategy. Because if you enumerate

you’ll be prone to an underestimation. If you approximate

you’ll be prone to an overestimation. So it seems women are going,

“Justin, Brad, the guy with the sexy biceps. The end.” And men are going,

“20 a year for the last 5 years.” (Laughter) You know. My favorite clue in all the data was that 80% of men’s results

were divisible by 5. (Laughter) So, of course the mathematicians are like,

“Yeah, no, you’re lying.” (Laughter) Back to some more waves. Of course, there are waves

in women’s hormones. And these equations look at what kind

of mechanism is in a woman’s body — how does your body know

28 days have gone by? And it’s based on understanding

why women have all their immature eggs at birth ready to go. We hear so much about women’s hormones, so I’ve brought in men’s as well. These are —

(Laughter) These are real.

I’m not making them up. These model the relationship between

the brain and the testes as the fluctuation happens during the day. (Laughter) I promise these are real. Testosterone, for example,

has a peak in the morning. And a slump in the evening. But there’s actually

a mini testosterone peak every 2 to 2.5 hours in between. So, you know what that means.

Especially women. If you ask a guy a favor

and he’s not responding just wait half an hour

and ask again, just try and — (Laughter) just try and get that slump moment. It’s got its purposes. Though the peak

has another purpose as well. Yes, this is all great fun

and I could carry on with fun maths and sex problems for hours. But ultimately, what I’m about

is our amazing brain and the impact of abstract thinking

and the power of abstract thinking. And so let me turn things

a little bit around on you and say, What do you think happens

if you think about sex before doing mathematics? Because it’s actually

not super distracting. You’ll actually become better at doing certain types of brain processes. It turns out there’s two fundamental types

of brain processes. You either think globally or locally. Forest or trees. And when you’re solving a problem, you often start with the global

kind of analysis and then you have to dig in deep

and follow leads to solutions. It turns out that we’re now seeing

with the latest research that this is linked to creative

versus analytical thinking. And more than that we’re finding that it’s actually

very easily manipulated. So, if you get people to think about love

and then solve problems they’ll be better at the globalization, the beginning, the creative part. And if you get people to think about sex they get better at the process

part of the problem solving. Easy as that. And here’s the bigger question

that interests me. What is this thing called mathematics that’s only been going

for about 2,000 years that popped up independently

across the world that so many people swear they can’t do? See, there’s something

that’s not quite reconciling there. You can’t have something

that’s developed so recently with some people

just having an extra brain bit. No, that doesn’t make sense.

It’s about finding those right triggers. Here’s a school report card of mine in French. My parents are these wild, wild travelers

always looking for wild parties. I’m actually the conservative offspring

of some crazy wild people. As you see, we lived in Cannes, whatever.

Great parties there. But more importantly, you can see

two out of 20 for mathematics. And my best result was 15

for Travaux Manuels et Technique. which is woodwork. (Laughter) So it’s very clear to me

what life is like without mathematics. Once I found mathematics at 18

when I came to Australia, it was the first time

that I was connecting to something pure, to something that was so amazing. You see, pattern recognition is right at the core of the animal kingdom. You see, even reptiles recognize whether it’s something

to eat, fight or have sex with. Even a jellyfish knows which way is up

and which way is down. Now the seeds of the number concept are also very much part

of the animal kingdom. A pack of animals will recognize whether another pack

is greater than theirs. And you can actually teach a rat

to press a lever an approximate number of times

to get food. Now, you see how I used

the word approximate. That’s because the rat doesn’t have

self-awareness or a linguistic ability to capture, tame those innate sensations. So if the rat is just tapping three times

1, 2, 3 — it will kind of get it right. But once it gets to 16,

the poor little rat is tapping away it doesn’t know where it’s reaching.

And it’s the same with us. If you do an experiment

where we can’t count out we’ll make exactly the same

mistakes as the rat. We went further. We went to things like 2 + 5=5 + 2. I can swap the order of things

and still reach the same result. We went further still. A + B=B + A I can substitute

any of the infinite number of numbers that I’m now aware of in that formula

and it means the same thing. You see, language is more

than just naming things. With it, we also got cause and effect

and temporal reasoning. Mathematics is our most precise use

of this syntactical understanding. Because with mathematics

at each step that you’re creating the pattern linking discovery,

there’s no ambiguity. It is very precise

what you’re doing at each step, what is in each classification.

True or false. That’s it. In the box or outside the box.

It’s very clear, ultimate precision. And that is why mathematics is so powerful and being used more

often right through to sex. And that’s why it’s so hard

because you’re using the limits of our evolution

right to their extreme. We’re using,

we’re taming those innate sensations with the most ultimate precision we can. Mathematics as you can see, it’s just — what’s so breath taking is that it emerged

independently across the globe. And when people came together

in peace or war they may have clashed when it came

to religion, cultures, languages, but their mathematics,

or pure pattern recognition just meshed. You see, mathematics

lies right at the roots of humanity. Like sex, it transcends human culture. And now that I’ve shared that with you, you are the sexiest ladies in town. (Laughter) Thank you very much. (Applause)

I don't think until this point in my life that I have ever been turned on by a Woman's Biceps and laterals and others, what a fine specimen of the female gender

Handsome squidward ???????

I like it very much the woman and it s true thank you smart carol

Clio Cresswell has a beautiful body with dreamy masculine shoulders, arms and hands – perfect for me: a hetero man who always wanted a woman with gumption, a profession, a head of her own, and some physical strength. Unlike Clio, I aced math in school, especially geometry and trig, but have always considered that the best male-female match was signal quadrature, meaning 90° apart, where the strongest signal comes at 45°, 135°, 225° and 315°. I think Clio might just agree with that.

2019??

Girls can do math just fine, but most can't do advanced math, past advanced calculus. That is beyond them. Some of these are Cryptography, Number Theory, and linear algebra.

Great… now I'm gonna get a hard on thinking about math.

Thank you smoking hot math lady.

What is she saying I know I am dum please help me

LOL ?

Bonjour Clio… Juste un petit mot pour me rappeler à ton bon souvenir… Magic Form, le Taillan Médoc, hiver 2018-2019…

J'oubliais de préciser quand même un peu… C'est le prof de français qui t'adresse ce coucou… Do you remember ?

OX4D NLP BOTTOM LINE

4 04 timer for the speaker

marriage has nothing to do with this.

13 minutes of my life I'm never getting back

How does 2+5=5.?

elaborate the formula please

Thank you! Your Men’s Hormone Equation proves that men are more complicated than women.

E=mc^2 ……. Aaaiiyyyyy aiiyyyyy ??

LOL ??

The speaker is beautiful, active, smart , attractive, glamorous , charming and bewitching. Figure perfect. Envy of many a woman.

Stop working out old lady

The similarity of her marriage equations to the classic predator+prey equations is very ironic.

Amazing how simple we are only humans are arrogant enough to think they can Know through math how to fk

Ayn Rand proved that concept formation was a mathematical process over 50 years ago. Finally people starting to get close to understanding that.

Ya just keep asking no way every girl is going to say no. It is a number a game.

I wish she would have provided more insight into the mathematics of relationships.

TEDx has stooped low .

Calling out people names ?

and showing some integral calculus slide might look cool .

Nothing informative .

YouTube videos and memes are more informative than this .

Milfmatics

She can be part of my equation any day….

wow your attractive

This the best talk I’ve ever heard if I don’t think about what I’m listening to.

Click bait title.

No ring on the finger. The carousel lives on!

Women lower their number to conform to societal norms and men slightly exaggerate . Duh

Successful and theres how Ws and how many Hs? Already behind guys.

Leave Charlie Sheen alone

95% accuracy rate!!! Women have worked out the law of averages cos the government is on there side man pays for everything in every way in the end regardless women are good at this game looking past attraction and look at$$

Clickbait.

أخبار الشرق الاوسط خصوصا جمهورية مصر وجمهورية تركيا

Huh

I love myself to the square of infinity .

Thanks baby. I wish you were my wife

Women around 40 math,s = 1=1 = a head ache !

Where do you find all this equations ? Amazing

Modern problems need mathematical solutions.

Not very exciting to listen to but nice to look at!

8:41 lol look at them pecs and front deltoids….side note what’s up with her right should

Does anyone remember their 8th grade math teacher looking like her…….anyone……anyone……yeah, me neither..?

My wife's failed in mathematics…. What do I do now….

I got some math for you:

You + Me = Perfection

Her creepy upper arms and underarm area was too distracting to pay attention to her jibberish

Closing accounts

Oh gawd the advent of steAm. FFS spare us the BS.

The angle of the dangle = Heat of the m……..

Great talk but…I didn't get the full breakdown of that the equation…the talk become too general and scattered…amazing talk nonetheless.

Awesome

She needs to learn how to dress. Very poor wardrobe choice.

The money shot is at 11:24.

Fibonacci sequence is found in women's orgasms.

No. Obama is at fault.

The best way forward: to work together to find the superior third option

She looks stronger than me.. and im a guy.

If you call somethings mathematic it's true at 100% not at 95% otherwise it's engineering …

love how she describes language usage in mathematics

Lovely intelligent MILF!

Well one thing for sure – her figures are perfect

شكرا لكم

She's so rippled. Damn~that's hot!

It might be time for you to ask for that favor

????

Husband’s P + His wife’s V = a happy marriage

There’s a pure mathematic equation that people seem to not be able to understand these days.

Another example of pareto principle showing up in human behavior (regarding number of sexpartners).

"Baby, I Wanne discuss your curves ;3???"

According to her name, this was the only field she could go into.

Interesting study, but hey there are more than straight people out there :/

Nice guns

boring lecture

try giving less examples and get to the point faster

Mathematics only been around for about 2k yrs. Tell that to ancient Aztec Mesopotamian Egypt who built the ziggurat

Only Asa could manage to fall so spectacularly

Bizarre that there are negative comments. Isn’t it interesting that some men and some women are very threatened by attractive confident clever women. I thought this was excellent.

They Degenerated Ted talks to bs

I have no idea what this video was supposed to be about.

Can someone tell me what the meaning of this was?

According to PISA statistics, girls have started outperforming boys in math and science as well., the gap widening rapidly. Women become lawyers and doctors and all diplomats outside gender quota are women while men become ditch diggers and delivery thugs.

What a load of shite……….

She has awesome arms

I have no idea what she as talking about

~~but I watched the whole video~~as I would watch her teach anything: ballet, philosophy, algebra, anatomy, whatever..Great information! This book also helped me with my current relationship

@t

Is this a huge awesome ted talk joke?

That woman is hot! ?

Awesome delivery

Is this about the angel of the dangle?

She should use her mathematics prowess to put together a better looking outfit

There is a time and place for everything… her ensemble of clothing was worn at neither the right time, nor place.

And of course, a beautiful "M.I.L.K" to explain the whole thing….

4:36

She is got as much people as in a music show !

she's got to be the new "mathdona" !

Simply said: algorithmic life.

Sheetah est la fille de Tarzan et de Bono bo bo

I wish she would use her math on me.

algorithmic life.Need to romance.